Some 30 years ago when I started out on my independent life adventure, the only coach I had ever heard of was the sports kind. I had volleyball coaches and soccer coaches and in retrospect, they did exactly what coaches do – they stood by me, they encouraged me, they showed me some tricks and they held me accountable for the work I was willing to put in.
And then, as life became more complicated and I struggled to define myself, I found a coach in the form of a book. “Feeding the Hungry Heart,” went with me everywhere. I read it in the coffee shop, in my college apartment, at work and any moment that I needed some inspiration and grounding. I have never met Geneen Roth, but her books were my coach in some of my scariest and most painful times.
In my thirties, I jumped into life and founded a non profit community center. My work was expanding rapidly and suddenly this “little project” that started on my kitchen table had turned into a 15,000 sq foot facility with 35 staff, hundreds of volunteers and a monthly budget that was overwhelming. Although I should have been happy or proud, I spent most days in panic and fear that everything would collapse. It is here where more traditional “executive coaches” found their way into my life. Rick Kahn, a man who I would later date and almost marry, offered workshops to our staff and sat with me for hours on end to help me understand that I had the wisdom and the capacity to do what I was doing. Hank Fieger, Bill Roberts, Robert Graham, Sharon Keating – all professional executive coaches working with the biggest companies in the world, donated their experience and skills, time and time and time again. From each I learned about management and leadership but often as much about myself, my style, my potential and the small changes that would make huge differences in my life and my work.
More than a decade later, I began to study the practice of living. I asked myself, What makes a spectacular life? I am happy and proud of my work but is there more? I studied books and dove into the latest science on great leaders and great lives. I confirmed that I had been given amazing advice through the years but that there were always things that I could improve. Although I actively practiced mindfulness in my life and work, I began to study it more closely and found that meditation brought me greater awareness, more confidence and clarity in my purpose. I studied the power of habits and rituals. I became more attentive to my own and stronger in my daily discipline, recognizing the wisdom in the words of Aristotle, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Most importantly, I was reminded that the quality of my life expands only as long as I remain open to change and to growth.
I have tremendous gratitude for the people who gifted me their years of experience as my personal trainers, coaches and as friends and to those leaders and visionaries who have shared their secrets in books and blogs. I consider it my responsibility to pass along these skills and gifts of wisdom, to make them relevant to the world today and to practice the art of leadership with my purest intention, my deepest integrity and my most open heart.