I know. We all read this book 10 years ago. My suggestion, pick it up again.
When Brene Brown delivered her charming, vulnerable and life altering TedxTalk, The Power of Vulnerability, the world watched and waited for whatever she would offer next, at least I did.
For the last several weeks I have been taking advantage of the “slow summer season” to reconnect with the practice of curiosity and learning. I know that might not make sense from someone who leads an organization that is dedicated to those things, but the sad reality is that in our hurried up world it can sometimes be hard to find time for the very thing that fills you up. For me, reading, thinking, reflecting as a practice is a fuel that has informed my leadership for the last 20 years, but recently, and maybe even recently in the last many years I’ve been a bit lost in the leading and haven’t made enough space for the learning.
The practice, my practice, is simple. Read something, anything for 15 minutes and if it moves you to write about it, do that too. Today, my alarm sounds at 5am after a restless night’s sleep, I consider rolling over but instead I make it to my meditation pillow and settle myself for the short morning ritual. I always find that when I am at my most unsettled, my only recourse is to return to my rituals and now is such a time. Tired of my computer screen and rereading saved Linkedin posts as content, I scan my bookshelf. My “babies” I sometimes refer to those paperbound gifts of wisdom that have accompanied me from home to home and along my journeys. Brene Brown’s, Daring Greatly calls to me at this moment, I reach for it, I know why. I am considering some big moves, one of those is returning to the USA after 23 years in Mexico, there is everything unsettling about that.
I skim the chapter headings and it takes just an instant to know where I am supposed to start, Disruptive Engagement: Daring to Rehumanize Education and Work. Recently I have been mentoring social entrepreneurs in a few different contexts and as I look to my future, I am pondering if there might be a place to share my experience in other ways, college students, startup accelerators? I have started two non-profits that are still committed to their purpose decades later, I have led through difficult transitions in many organizations. After 20 years of deeply relational leadership grounded in community and tried in fire, I might only be an expert in failing and getting up again. What would I share? And maybe what is unsettling is the question, “would it land?” It is not hard to scan the news, or social media and wonder if we are just too lost, too independent, too sucked into ourselves. In my heart, I know this isn’t true, I know that we, all of us, are desperate for meaning and connection.
In this chapter, Brene suggests that our workplace practices are often a mirror of our education practices. Our focus on outcomes and getting it right leaves little permission for new ideas, for not knowing, and so from a very early age in schools, “we learn to keep our heads down, our mouths shut and our grades high.” Brene reminds us that there is no corporation and no school that can thrive without creativity, innovation and learning and that the greatest threat to all three is disengagement, an epidemic in our schools these days. Her research leads her to the conclusion that we must “rehumanize our schools and our workplaces,” we must connect authentically, we must invite people to conversations that include our humanness, our values, our perceptions, our histories and motivations. To lead courageously is to stand in that scary space of not knowing, of discomfort, because it is only there that we can grow.
I found exactly the message I was looking for today, “If you are not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you are not reaching your potential as a leader.” And so, I recommit to the discomfort of not knowing what this next evolution of my leadership will look like or what form it will take. I am reminded to hold discomfort as growth.