I woke up to feedback on a role interview that I had not been selected for.
I had requested the feedback and was quite honestly, excited and grateful to receive it. It was authentic and specific, “The panel’s feedback was that you clearly demonstrated a very good understanding of (**organization’s) work with schools. One important question was around the experience you were able to evidence around work at system level – compared to other candidates, the evidence of this was not as clear.”
It is always interesting to be self aware enough to know that feedback is a good thing, to be able to ask for it and acknowledge that growth and learning will come, and yet, to still feel the sting of not being chosen. The achiever in me, the one who was born striving, takes it in the gut, a second time.
I took myself for a morning walk on the beach.
At the end of the interview I had been given the opportunity to ask a question and I ventured forth an honest curiosity, “Considering the listed priorities, and that this role appears to have no direct reports and no budget associated with it, how would you define success?”
The answer was thoughtful and meandered a little bit and as the call ended, I took a moment to jot down what I believed that they were hiring for, but might not have known that they needed.
This was my note; “The role is to support a culture shift in the organization where every team member feels like an agent of change towards embedding climate change education in the organizational ethos, culture and practice and in turn throughout the products, services and communities we serve.”
Last night I had dinner with my friend Claire who is coaching corporate executives in reflective practices that support embracing their inner selves as a pathway towards better leadership. We were discussing relationships and partnerships and her sage advice resonated with an understanding that we also have in the practice of systems change, but, like in relationships, we fail to fully own – “You can only meet others to the extent that you have met yourself.”
“The systems we create are reflections of our internal condition, we are never separate from the systems we are trying to change.” – Mette Boll, MIT Compassionate Systems.
In my work, we often benchmark our progress through the accomplishment of the UN Sustainable Development Goals. Facing the grim reality that we are on track to reach just 35% of some targets and have regressed on 18% of them, is requiring a collective evaluation of how and why those good intentions are failing. The rise of the Inner Development Goals, however flawed, reflected a collective consideration that we must “meet ourselves” before we are prepared to advance global goals.
In the unscripted response of the all women review panel, the thing that they identified was reflective of this same wisdom of inner evolution, a dream of “organizational culture change,” was the thruline of their example of success. But the role that they were interviewing for and the questions that they asked, were interested in systems influence, in impact on the other.
This is the tricky part about systems change and systems level shifts and it is as true on the personal level as the corporate and organizational one. We intuitively know what we need, but the system itself and its priorities, indicators and benchmarks require that we bypass this truth and go outside ourselves, by suggesting that solutions are found by what we can do, rather than who we can be.
Feedback is a gift and as I wandered home and washed off my sandy feet, I reflected on an insight that another mentor shared in a flower ceremony, the week earlier. “The medicine* will give you what you need, not necessarily what you want” – and so it is.
I find myself curious, holding space for the possibility that all of us doing good work in the world, will find our right way.